Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Curb Space

Don’t let the solid, rectangular piece of steel fool you. The entrance to my house is a revolving door. In the morning, I count the cars to know who is home. Even without visitors, it would appear to the average passerby that we were throwing a small shindig; a gathering, at the very least. Hopefully, my neighbors don’t mind that we take up more than the normal amount of curb space, sometimes spilling over to the other side.
Recently, we visited an Open House. Beautiful house for sale in the small town of Purcellville, but there was no driveway (just a modest-sized garage), and no curb parking. “We would have to run a shuttle service,” my partner and I remarked. We laughed at the vision of purchasing a golf cart to transfer kids and guests to and from some remote, gravel lot.
My partner and I included, we make up a family of seven. All but the seven- year-old drives their own car, and even he is dreaming of the day when he can hold his own set of keys. Our house, right now, is practically ideal: 5 bedrooms, 3 1/2 baths, a carport with a driveway AND curb parking, although, the driveway is on a steep slope.
Recently, a neighbor knocked at the door. “Um, your car is rolling down the driveway…” It was my partner’s jeep. Since then, we only park one in the carport; all other vehicles on the curb.
One morning, the inventory of cars did not add up. After questioning each of the physical bodies in the house (including the seven-year-old), we concluded that there was one unidentifiable car. There is a path that runs along the side of our house that connects to the adjoining neighborhood. Periodically, someone will park in front of our house and use the path as a cut through. This one car, however, began parking there every day, ALL day; always arriving and leaving, unnoticed.
“We need to do something about that car,” commented my seventeen year old, as he stared at the car with disdain. He is the youngest of the drivers in the house. “He is messing up our parking.”
He was right. He WAS messing up our parking.
On a normal day, there is one car parked in the carport, three on one side of the driveway (in front of the house), and one on the other. When the mystery car parks, only two can fit in front of the house, causing overflow to the other side of the street.
But, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
According to the county parking rules, unless he left his car sitting for ten or more days, we could not have it towed. This person returned to his car every day, and though it was strange that he was parking there(visiting Mrs. Robinson, perhaps?), it was not illegal, so there was not much we could do.
“Unless we put a note on his car,” I suggested.
Something like . . .
To Whom it May Concern:
We respectfully request that you park at your place of “business”.Parking here disrupts the amount of curb space needed for the residents who live here. If you continue to park here, we are not responsible for the disappearance of your car.
NCS (Neighbors for Curb Space)
Of course, we would omit that last line. Revolving door is okay; doors with bars, not so much.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

"Violets are Blue, Rosacea is Red"

One of the lovely features of getting older, 
apparently combined with my Scottish and Irish heritage 
(thank you, Great, Great, Great, Great . . . somebody), 
is that my skin has been breaking out like a teenager's. 

There is a LOVELY name for it: ROSACEA. 

Why such a lovely sounding word, 
associated with such an annoying condition??? 

Rosacea sounds likes Roses, as in . . .

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue..."


"Everything will come out smelling like roses"


"Take time to smell the roses."

So, what IS Ros(acea)?

"A condition that causes redness and often small, 
     red, pus-filled bumps on the face." 

"Violets are blue, Rosacea is red" 


And, there is no cure.

One SHOULD, however, stay away from the following (deep breath): 

red wine (and most alcohol), 
avocados, bananas, and most tropical fruits, 
the sun, 
the wind, 
extreme heat, 
extreme cold, 
spicy food . . . 




Sigh . . .

I suppose I could look at the bright side.

There is a French proverb,  "No rose without a thorn." 

There is a Chinese proverb,  

"A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom." 

I suppose I could think of myself as a beautiful rose;  

     my rosacea, defending me. 


Certainly gives new meaning to the old joke, 

"Does your face hurt? Cuz it's KILLING ME!"