Thursday, September 27, 2018

Unleashed

Don't let his expression fool you. He is lucky he is still alive. He is lucky he is so darn cute.

Yesterday, just as a fast moving storm was about to unleash upon the earth,
Charlie decided to chase my neighbor's car.

"Charlie!" I yelled.

"CHAR-LIE!!!" I yelled, again.

But, he did not listen.
He chased that Subaru, as if it was his last important mission.
I tried to chase after him, but I was wearing two-inch wedged flip flops,
and my feet kept falling off the edges of my shoes.

And, suddenly, it was POURING.

I decided to turn back toward the house.
The wind was blowing the rain sideways, and into my eyes, which made it difficult to see,
especially with contact lenses.
I tried to cover my eyes with my hands, but there was just SO MUCH RAIN.
My feet began slipping all over my shoes, so I took them off, but it hurt too much to walk on the sharp gravel, even with the buffer of the soft, thick mud.
I made it to the stairs, and as I began to walk up towards the front door,
Charlie blew past me.
He stood at the top, wagging his tail,
looking at me as if he had just experienced the adventure of a lifetime.

Wasn't that fun? Wasn't that fun? Wasn't that fun?
Can we go inside, now? Can we go inside, now?
I'm really wet! I'm really wet!

Completely soaked to the bone, hair, dripping wet, feet - covered in mud,
contact lenses,barely holding on to my eyes, and steam, coming out of my ears,
I opened the front door, where my 9 year-old stepson stood there, and said,

"OH, my GOD!!!"

Not sure if God, or anybody can save that dog, right now, I said to myself.

"Can you get me some towels?" I asked.

Like I said, good thing he's so darn cute.










Thursday, February 1, 2018

The Forgotten Banana

We decided to try a 3-day cleanse. What does that mean?
A LONG list of groceries, and a LOT of time, organizing and prepping for meals. 

"Why are we doing this?"asked Mike.

"I'm not sure," I realized. "Oh, YES! It's supposed to reboot our metabolism."

IT'S JUST 3 DAYS. WE CAN DO THIS!

Day 1 (Breakfast):

1 egg, 2 egg whites, with sliced cherry tomatoes, basil 
   (but, I forgot to buy basil, so I used spinach), and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese
Coffee, with 2 tablespoons 1% milk, or 1 tablespoon half & half 
1 banana

   "This coffee looks really watery,"said Mike.  

   "Hmmm. Maybe it's because it is not our usual coffee (that I did not intend to purchase)," 
I replied.  

   "How much half & half am I allowed?"Mike asked.

   "One of these," I said, as I handed him the teeny tiny little spoon.

    Look of disbelief.  

   "Did you intend to buy lactose free half & half?" Mike asked, as he showed me the carton.
   
   "Ummm, no," I responded, unsuccessfully trying not to laugh. 

   "For someone who is a creature of habit, this sure is a lot of changes for one day,"said Mike.

Later that morning . . . 

   "OH, shit. He forgot his banana."