"From Loss, There Is Strength"

I would like to write about my divorce. I say that I would "like" to, but the reality is that every time I begin to type my words onto a "page", my mind gets stuck, and my fingers just sit there pausing over the keyboard, waiting for my brain to give them some sort of a direction. The problem is that most of my stories have a bit of a humorous edge, and there is nothing funny about divorce.

I do know that when I write about divorce, it will NOT be about blame or resentment, nor will it be about regret. There will be no finger pointing or name calling. Rather, it will be from the perspective of "what I have learned about myself and my world" through this process. It will be about how I have grown, who I have become, and who I am still becoming.

Will it be about loss? I imagine so, for it is the feeling of loss - loss of faith, loss of love, and most of all, the feeling of losing myself - that challenged my courage, making me realize I am even stronger than I thought, no matter how lonely that can feel sometimes.

"Nine"

For those of you who were wondering (and I know you were), I did go from 10 down to 9 followers. "We lost one! Oh, no!" Ahh, but don't let this discourage you, as apparently there was one person posted twice (cheater). Plus, I know there are a lot of "closet followers" out there (knock, knock). I know you will come out when you are ready.

Nine is a good number, though. Afterall, there was a movie named after it. For all 9 of you that watched it : )

I Would Love To......

I would love to own a shop filled with classic toys.
Nothing filled with batteries - or computerized.

Wooden blocks,
and spinning tops.

Train sets,
and dolls that wet.

Lincoln logs,
and pull-along dogs.

Lego bricks to pile;
a phone that winks and smiles.

Dress-up clothes,
and a working fire hose.

Toys that make us laugh.
Toys that make us smile.
Toys that make us forget about
the world for awhile.

I would love to own a shop filled with classic toys.
Nothing filled with batteries - or computerized.

A Writer's Desperate Attempt

I still haven't figured out how much I want to share on this blog. On the one hand, I want to be totally uninhibited and write about everything that comes to my mind. On the other hand, there are concerns about privacy, future employment (although, I'm hoping this would be a "selling" point), people's feelings, publishing rights, etc., etc., etc.

So then, why even HAVE a blog? I am still figuring all of this out. I just know that I HAVE to write. I NEED to write.

Just yesterday, while driving down the road, I had so many thoughts spinning around in my head at one time - something I like to call "The Blender Effect" - and I needed to write them down. Otherwise, I would drive myself crazy, and I was afraid I would not remember them later.

While sitting at a traffic light, I frantically searched around for a pencil or pen. It was the one time that I wished I had not cleaned out my car - not a single pencil or pen in sight. But, damn! The inside of my car looked good.

I began to scrounge through my purse as quickly as I could, actually hoping that the light would NOT turn green.

Side note - Remember the days when writing a check was common? I was a child (of course), but my mom always had a handful of pens in her purse. I rarely write checks, and my kids have long been past the age when I needed to give them a drawing utensil in order to keep them occupied during a meal.

I could not find a pen or pencil in my purse.

For a moment, I thought I found lipstick. I was desperate enough to use it, until I realized it was just lip moisturizer (aka chapstick). It would be difficult to read script written in clear gloss. I would need those special glasses that I had when I was a kid. You know, the one that enabled you to read "invisible" ink?

I also found a tampon.
"Can't write with that," I thought, "unless I dipped it in......."

A pencil! I found a pencil!

I began to write my thoughts down on the back of an envelope as quickly as I could, using the steering wheel as my writing surface. I took the opportunity at every red light until I reached my daughter's school.

"Hmmmm," I thought, "I wonder if this could be considered texting?"

Epiphany

I am not indecisive. I just choose to make decisions in my own time.
I am not non-commital. I am quite flexible, and I like to keep my options open.

Confession of the Day

Last night, I flipped back and forth between "40 Year-old Virgin", "Maid of Honor", and "The Shining".

I have several possible explanations for this:

1) I was feeling indecisive.

2) ADD

3) My multiple personalities all showed up at the same party.

* Future employers -
"NO, I do not have multiple personality disorder. This is a joke."

Clutter (inspired by a friend)

Everyone has clutter. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. Personally, I choose to embrace my clutter. Until company shows up. Then, I shove it in the bedroom, and shut the door.

Brilliant Idea of the Day

On many occasions, I have mentioned my opinion about bumper stickers. One day, at the risk of being DE-friend(ed)by many of my bumper sticker loving (or addicted) friends, I may write a story about it.

In the meantime, I will add to my lists (side, right)one that is titled,
"Bumper Stickers Worth Mentioning".
Heck, maybe I will even put it front and center. This is exciting, I know (for all 8 of you), and I am going to ask that you participate. If you see a funny, witty, intelligent (did I spell that right?), inspirational, ridiculous, sensational bumper sticker that is worth mentioning, please do so, and I will add it to my blog.

Also, if you can think of a saying that SHOULD be a bumper sticker, let me know. I am always coming up with ideas, myself. That and making up my own words out of messed up words. For example, "fouch". Try to guess which two words created that one word. Heck, I could probably make a bumper sticker and t-shirts just out of that one word.

Anyways, BUMPER STICKERS, people! And I do not want you to tell me that you are proud of your honor role student! Please play along : ) !!!!!

Pause Button

Today, I have so much I want to write about, but it will have to wait. No time, for now! My blog has been muted and paused, temporarily.

Question of the Day

Just when DID my ass start following me???

I Will Never Be a "Private School Mom"

Two of my three children attend private school, but I will never be a "private school mom". Just yesterday, I attended my son's first lacrosse game. I was the first mom there, and planted myself in a grassy spot on the sidelines. It was a beautiful, Spring day, as I sat and watched my son and his team perform their warm-up exercises. I was excited for my son, as he seemed to really be enjoying lacrosse, and I was proud of him for trying something new.

A few minutes later, another mom walked up, introduced herself, and sat down beside me. I have tried very hard over the years to not judge a parent's personality by his or her "private school" looks. She seemed pleasant enough, as we exchanged "small talk" about our sons and their interest in lacrosse.

Soon enough, several other moms walked over and sat down next to us. It did not take very long before I felt like the "one" in the game, "one of these things is not like the other". I quickly lost interest in the conversation, as they compared their exercise regimes, golf lessons, vacation homes, and who they know.


As I sat there on the hill, wearing my flip-flops with my "non-pedicured" toenails, the "private school mom" conversation quickly became nothing more than background noise. I sat and focused on the warmth of the sun on my face, the feel of the breeze on my skin, the green of the new leaves popping up on the surrounding trees, and my son on the field in his lacrosse jersey.

I am glad to be in a situation that allows me to have choices, especially when it comes to my kids, but I will never be a "private school mom". I will always be the daughter of two music teachers.

Thought for the Day

Actually, it's more like I am constantly coming up with new ideas, making the last one seem less significant.

"Becoming A Blog"

So, it dawned on me that way back when I first started to think about starting a blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could write and share my stories. Maybe it's the ADD in me, but I notice that when I look at other people's blogs (filled with stories), my attention span is quite short, and I just kind of skim through them.

So, I'm still not really sure what I want this blog to be about. I should have titled it "Becoming A Blog".

Darnit! I always come up with the good ideas after the fact.

Confession of the Day

I once wrote a song to send into American Idol. Unfortunately, I was too "technically challenged" to figure out how to record and download it onto the computer.

Why the name "page3" ?

I believe I am a bit of a "late bloomer", only beginning to explore my many sides. I have been writing for most of my life, but several years back, I started to pay attention to the "me" that finds humor and amusement in every day circumstances, and began to write them down in the form of stories.

The first one I wrote, was about purchasing a cup of coffee (actually, a cafe late'), and like (a spilled cup of) coffee, the story flowed from my fingers onto the page. After reading it, I decided to send it into the Washington Post, which had a "page3" section where readers could send in their stories.

"What the heck?" I thought.

I believe it was several days later when I received a call from the editor, telling me that he would like to print my story. I was so excited that I wanted to jump through the roof! That was the beginning of my year-long relationship with page 3, as I averaged about a story every month in the Post.

I still send stories in every so often, and have recently taken a more active role in my pursuit to become a published children's book author.

Brilliant (but quick) Idea of the Day

While standing in the shower,moments ago, which happens to be where I come up with some of my best ideas, I was thinking about my busy day. I have been so good about fitting exercise into my schedule this week (4 days in a row - woo, hoo!), but today it was a choice between showering and exercising. I chose to smell good, but I was feeling guilty about not being able to exercise.

"Wish there was some way to do both at one time," I thought.

"Waterproof weights! I could be building muscle and shaving my legs at the same time!"

Thank you for listening to my Brilliant (but quick) Idea of the Day ; )

A Work in Progress

I should call this Blog "A Work In Progress", because that is how I feel about this blog, as well as my life, but I already chose a title, and I'm stick'n to it! I will be figuring things out as I go, and hopefully (though, I cannot promise), find a rhythm, somewhere along the way. This is mostly about helping myself grow, as well as an outlet for writing. Should you choose to go with me on this journey, "welcome"! Happy to have you along : )

Today, I am happy to have my two boys home, and the warm sun shining on my face.