Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Raindrops on Roses and Unwanted Whiskers

Raindrops on roses?

Whiskers on  . . . kittens? 

     Well, not exactly.

But, in honor of Thanksgiving, here are 10 everyday household items
    that I am thankful for, and “why”.

1)   Coffee Cup:  Thank you, coffee cup, for holding the most valuable, 
     most important, most necessary liquid nutrient of the day.

2)   Q-Tips:  I love you, Q-tips.  I know the experts tell us NOT 
      to clean the insides of our ears 
      (allowing the wax to do the job it is intended to do), 
      but DAMN it feels good when I swirl your fuzzy, cotton tip 
      around (and around and around), 
      collecting all of the WATER and WAX and DIRT (i.e. ear crud).  
      And, there is something very satisfying about discovering 
      all that I have captured on the other end. 

3)   Spatula:  What can I say.  You help me flip my eggs every morning.  
     I have tried using a spoon (when all of the spatulas were dirty), 
     and the result is a messy blur of white and yellow on my plate.   
    It's  JUST   NOT   THE   SAME.  
     Thank you, Spatula!  

4)   Sticky Notes:  For the perfect canvas to write out all of my 
     lists and ideas, and post them around the house.  
     Even though I ignore them (most of the time), 
     I know they are there.  And, somehow, that makes me feel as if I have   
     accomplished something.  Thank you, sticky notes!

5)   Paper Clips:  Thank you, Paper Clips.  
     Not only are you good at holding papers together, 
     you can provide hours of entertainment, 
     connecting one to the other (to the other), 
     which is particularly entertaining to those of us with 
     attention deficit disorders.  
          Not to mention . . . 
                            what was I saying? ? ? 
     Oh, yes.  You come in handy when the need arises 
     to gain entry into the locked bedrooms of 
     rebellious teenagers (who shall remain nameless).

6)   Corkscrew:  Thank you, corkscrew, for helping me gain access 
      to the (other) most valuable,  
      most important, most necessary liquid nutrient of the day. 

7)   Channel Changer/Clicker/ TV Remote:  
     Thank you for indulging my lazy side; 
     allowing me to sit on the couch and (channel) surf 
     for hours of mindless entertainment.  
     And, the only “sharks” I have to worry about 
     are sitting on the couch next to me, 
     waiting for the opportunity to annihilate the Food Channel, 
     and cruise on over to the Sports Channel.  

                             SHARKS LIKE SPORTS.      

8)   Dryer Sheets:  Thank you, dryer sheets, for preventing me from 
     “death, by electrocution” in my sleep.

9)    Tweezers:  Thank you, tweezers, 
      for helping me pluck those unattractive, 
      unwanted hairs that have no rightful place anywhere on my body.  
      In case an unfortunate circumstance were to occur 
      (and I were to fall into a coma), 
      I have a designated “plucker person” 
      to take care of those unsightly
                                                    . . . whiskers.

And, LAST, but certainly not LEAST -

10)      Toilet Paper:  There are a number of reasons why 
         I am thankful for you, toilet paper.  
                  Actually, there are exactly . . .  TWO. 

No comments:

Post a Comment