A New Roll of Toilet Paper

Don't you hate it when you get up to pee, in the middle of the night ...............

Dont you hate it when you get up to pee, in the middle of the night..................... and there is a new roll of toilet paper?

Upon entering the bathroom, you do not bother to turn the light on because, technically, you are still asleep.  Besides, you don't really WANT to be awake, and turning on the light could begin the "AWAKE PROCESS". 

You WISH you could just DREAM about peeing, and that would take care of the problem, but that dream could end with some unpleasant results, so you roll out of bed at 4 a.m., and somehow, you are transported to the toilet.

You reach for the new roll of toilet paper, and begin turning it around and aound in your hands................searching.  Searching for that edge where the toilet paper begins, but because you are "AWAKE CHALLENGED", your reasoning and motor skills are not functioning properly, and you simply

CANNOT FIND THE EDGE OF THE TOILET PAPER!

Around, and around, and around you turn it, suddenly feeling as if you are participating in a test of  intelligence, to which you did not sign up for. 
             
                 "Maybe I AM dreaming," you say to yourself, simultaneously thinking,  "A HA!  THIS roll of toilet paper must not BE like all the rest.  There must be SOME OTHER WAY IN!"

Sadly, though, it is not "technically" an IQ test, nor are you dreaming, nor is there any other way "IN". 

Eventially, after turning the roll around ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO TIMES, you somehow find the edge.

OR

out of frustration, like some desperate scavenger, you simply begin digging into the layers of paper with your fingers, leaving one MESSED UP looking roll of toilet paper behind.

"What happened to the toilet paper?"  someone asks, the next morning. 

I guess there are worse things than having to deal with a new roll of toilet paper.  There could be NO TOILET PAPER AT ALL!!!!!  That comes with an entirely new set of issues.  
 I will save that for another story.