Raindrops on Roses and Unwanted Whiskers

Raindrops on roses?

Whiskers on  . . . kittens? 

     Well, not exactly.

But, in honor of Thanksgiving, here are 10 everyday household items

    that I am thankful for, and “why”.

1)   Coffee Cup:  Thank you, coffee cup, for holding the most valuable, 

     most important, most necessary liquid nutrient of the day.

2)   Q-Tips:  I love you, Q-tips.  I know the experts tell us NOT 

      to clean the insides of our ears 

      (allowing the wax to do the job it is intended to do), 

      but DAMN it feels good when I swirl your fuzzy, cotton tip 

      around (and around and around), 

      collecting all of the WATER and WAX and DIRT (i.e. ear crud).  

      And, there is something very satisfying about discovering 

      all that I have captured on the other end. 

3)   Spatula:  What can I say.  You help me flip my eggs every morning.  

     I have tried using a spoon (when all of the spatulas were dirty), 

     and the result is a messy blur of white and yellow on my plate.   

    It's  JUST   NOT   THE   SAME.  

     Thank you, Spatula!  

4)   Sticky Notes:  For the perfect canvas to write out all of my 

     lists and ideas, and post them around the house.  

     Even though I ignore them (most of the time), 

     I know they are there.  And, somehow, that makes me feel as if I have   

     accomplished something.  Thank you, sticky notes!

5)   Paper Clips:  Thank you, Paper Clips.  

     Not only are you good at holding papers together, 

     you can provide hours of entertainment, 

     connecting one to the other (to the other), 

     which is particularly entertaining to those of us with 

     attention deficit disorders.  

          Not to mention . . . 

                            what was I saying? ? ? 

     Oh, yes.  You come in handy when the need arises 

     to gain entry into the locked bedrooms of 

     rebellious teenagers (who shall remain nameless).

6)   Corkscrew:  Thank you, corkscrew, for helping me gain access 

      to the (other) most valuable,  

      most important, most necessary liquid nutrient of the day. 

7)   Channel Changer/Clicker/ TV Remote:  

     Thank you for indulging my lazy side; 

     allowing me to sit on the couch and (channel) surf 

     for hours of mindless entertainment.  

     And, the only “sharks” I have to worry about 

     are sitting on the couch next to me, 

     waiting for the opportunity to annihilate the Food Channel, 

     and cruise on over to the Sports Channel.  

                             SHARKS LIKE SPORTS.      

8)   Dryer Sheets:  Thank you, dryer sheets, for preventing me from 

     “death, by electrocution” in my sleep.

9)    Tweezers:  Thank you, tweezers, 

      for helping me pluck those unattractive, 

      unwanted hairs that have no rightful place anywhere on my body.  

      In case an unfortunate circumstance were to occur 

      (and I were to fall into a coma), 

      I have a designated “plucker person” 

      to take care of those unsightly

                                                    . . . whiskers.

And, LAST, but certainly not LEAST -

10)      Toilet Paper:  There are a number of reasons why 

         I am thankful for you, toilet paper.  

                  Actually, there are exactly . . .  TWO. 

 

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/11/19/raindrops-on-roses-and-unwanted-whiskers/

Straight Lines vs. Angles

There is a small rug that lies in the front hallway.
I prefer calling it "front hallway", as the area is too small,
     and not fancy enough to call a foyer.

The rug is striped, with eye-pleasing colors of blue and green.  

I purchased it at a local shop, filled with so many unique items,
     that I could spend HOURS of my time
getting lost in the possibilities.    

I like to position the rug at an angle, between the stairs and the front door,
     next to the over-flowing basket full of shoes.
And, I am not ashamed to admit that, somehow,
     this little rug brings me happiness.
Every time I walk up or down the stairs,
     I am pleased with how my rug looks -
                  its perfect size, colors, shape, and texture.

Every now and then, however,  I find that the rug has been moved -
     perfectly lined up, and parallel to the door.

     That's just not right, I think to myself.

With one push of my foot, I slide the rug back to the preferred position.

     But, inevitably, it happens again.

So, again, I slide the rug back (with my foot) to the angled position.

I have never seen the culprit, but I currently live in an "all boy" house.

     Even the dog is a boy.

And, I have yet to meet a male creature
     who does not prefer straight lines, to angles.
In fact, angles seem to cause them a feeling of unease,
     as if the world, itself, has been tilted.

I remember when I angled the carpet in the living room.

     "Why is the carpet like that?"asked one.

     "You aren't going to KEEP it that way, are you?"said the other.

That was several years ago.
Fortunately, that carpet is too heavy to move.

And, so it goes, over, and over again -

     those who prefer straight lines, and those who prefer angles . . .
                                     
                                                                             just trying to co-exist.

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/11/15/straight-lines-vs-angles/

Delicious Autumn!

"Delicious autumn!  

My very soul is wedded to it, 

and if I were a bird 

I would fly about the earth 

seeking the successive autumns."  

~ George Eliot 

Halloween Haikus 2013

Autumn dusk settles;

     Dark, resting souls awakened;

haunting, to and fro. 

Restless souls, waiting

     for darkness to fall upon

the day; sweet rewards.

                                                   Lock your windows, bolt

                                                       the door; ‘Tis the night of the  

                                                  zombies, best beware!

Darkness looms; scary

     creatures wandering, lurking,

hankering . . . yearning. 

One., two, ghost says, “Boo!”

     Three, four, a knock at the door;

Five, six, “Treats, or . . . tricks?”

                                                              On this Hallows Eve,

                                                                 who wears a disguise, and who

                                                               dares stand in the light?

Mortals, be wary -

     be ready with sweets; tonight,

they come, craving treats.

http://monkeypickles.com/author/leslie-m/

"Tis the Season . . . for PUMPKINS (Apparently)!

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/10/17/tis-the-season-for-pumpkins-apparently/ 

I went to my favorite, local market, the other day, to pick up a few items for dinner. 

When I pulled into the parking lot, it resembled a Saturday morning.

I, actually, had a moment where I questioned my brain about what day I was in. 

Tuesday. 

Definitely Tuesday. 

NOT Saturday. 

They must be giving something away.

After spending ten minutes, circling the compact parking lot (testing my patience, as I was confronted by every type of “driver-challenged” label one could possibly come up with - for fear of hate mail, I will let your imagination do the talking),

. . . I finally found a spot.         

Taking my life into my own hands (visual of me walking side-by-side, with myself), I dared to walk through the parking lot of driver-challenged individuals, and safely (yet, barely) made it to the sidewalk.

I walked through the automatic doors and . . .

BAND playing!  LEIS (not lays) flying!  FACES grinning! 

I’m thinking, they are definitely giving something away,

     but I don’t think it is something they normally sell in the store. 

“It’s CUSTOMER APPRECIATION DAY!!!” someone hollered out. 

“OHHhhhh, YAY!” was my response, as I saw my “quick trip” to the store,

                         suddenly extended. 

And, there were pumpkins - EVERYWHERE.

Pumpkins in every size, shape, and color (apparently, orange pumpkins are going out of style). 

And, pumpkin FLAVORED . . .  everything.        

 

“Would you like to try a sample of pumpkin biscotti?” said one,

                         as he shoved a tray under my nose. 

“Pumpkin ravioli, over here!” said another. 

“Try a sample of our pumpkin coffee!” announced (yet) another. 

“Pumpkin pound cake?  Pumpkin waffles?  Pumpkin chips?  Pumpkin ale?”

Hmmmmm . . .

Amongst all the chaos, I tried to remember what I had come for.    

By the time I left (with my leis, around my neck), I had a new appreciation for pumpkins,

      and (in my head) I was doing a pumpkin appreciation dance. 

That night, for dessert, I served up Pumpkin Bread Pudding. 

OH, YUM!   

As I thought back to my trip to the market, I was still convinced they were giving something away,

  as I had never before seen such enthusiasm . . . over pumpkins.

And, I think, whatever it was (that they were giving away), 

     it may have been in the pumpkin-flavored coffee.  

That might explain my “pumpkin appreciation” dance.    

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/10/17/tis-the-season-for-pumpkins-apparently/ 

Navigating Back-to-School Night

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/10/09/navigating-back-to-school-night/

Somehow, I managed to get through four years of high school,
     without getting lost in the hallways.

When I walked through the doors of my youngest son’s school,
     I was handed a “map”. 

When I say “map”, I mean one that was intended for a tiny little mouse,
     with tiny little eyes, and tiny little reading glasses. 

The numbers and letters were SO small,
     that I had to strain my eyes to make sense of them. 

And, the hallways did not make any sense. 

A runs into H, and B runs into K . . .
     I wasn’t even going to begin to try to understand.

With the help of several red-shirted student volunteers, I made it on time.

On to second period (or, so I thought).

     “Everyone in here should be in their child’s fifth period classroom, right?”
informed the teacher.

Me: Gulp. No.

If there was a tiny little mouse hole 

     to hide in . . .

Instead, I just smiled, and (quiet as a mouse) I slinked out of my chair,
     and out the door.

I looked at the map, and was able to read it well enough
                              to recognize that my son’s fifth period class was 

ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE 

of the building. 

The meetings were only ten minutes long – I wasn’t going to make it. 

But, I decided to go for it, asking my red-shirted friends, along the way.

“Take this hallway ALL THE WAY down,
             then turn left, and go ALL THE WAY down,”said one.

Then, he added,”That last hallway is REALLY, REALLY long,
                                                                    so don’t let it discourage you.”

Don’t let it discourage me, I laughed to myself.

     Good advice.

Especially, coming from a fifteen year-old.

I was not so positive at his age.

     "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT !!!" is what I would have said.  

I finally DID make it to the gym (which was never my favorite class, anyways).

I had just missed a powerpoint presentation.

                             OH, darn.

Somehow, for the rest of the evening (2 hours and 20 minutes), 

I was able to find my way to each of my son’s classes, AND in the proper order. 

I did receive a few battle wounds, along the way (not including my ego). 

I got bumped into, stepped on, and I twisted my ankle (going down the stairs). 

     I really AM very coordinated (just to let you know).

AT the end of the night, when my son’s teacher asked if there were any final questions, 

I raised my hand and asked,

“Can you give me directions 

                              to the parking lot??!”

http://monkeypickles.com/2013/10/09/navigating-back-to-school-night/

How About Gout?

Gout:  a disease in which defective metabolism of uric acid causes arthritis, esp. in the smaller bones 
           of the feet, deposition of chalkstones, and episodes of acute pain (Google).

2. 
   

I went to the doctor, yesterday.

Nothing major; just a follow-up appointment.

The bad news is that I gained two pounds.

The good news is that I am still eight pounds down from where I was
     six months ago.

When I made myself comfortable on the paper covered "bed",
     the nurse sat down at the computer to update my records.

Nurse:  It says here you have seasonal allergies, asthma . . . and gout.

Me:  Um, NO on the "gout".

Nurse:  Huh (fingers, typing on the keyboard).

Nurse:  And it says here your are on . . .
                 (some sort of medication I've never heard of).

Me:  No.

Nurse:  Oh.  That medication is for gout. 

Nurse: (fingers, typing on the keyboard)

Nurse:  Are you sure you don't have gout?

The voice in my head:  It sounds really tempting.  I mean,
                                          I have never had gout,
                                         but it sounds like something I wish I could have.
                                         Even the sound of the word, itself - GOUT,
                                           is so pleasant,
                                                                  but . . .

Me:  "NO", I do not have gout.

Nurse: Huh (fingers, typing on the keyboard).

The voice in my head
     (with a smile on my face):  If you'd like, you can provide me
                                                   with a checklist
                                                   of cool sounding illnesses,
                                                   and I can check off which ones I think
                                                    I would like to have.  

The nurse looked at me, and smiled back.