Saturday, November 13, 2010

"Hairy Eyeball Syndrome" (It's All About Balance)

Last night, I CRASHED on the couch. 

It happened towards the tail end of watching the movie, Juno, which is a GREAT movie, by the way. 

I had not seen it since it was out in theatres, years ago, and forgot how simply wonderful it is. 

The writing and the timing with which the actors deliver their lines is true comedic genius.

It is funny, and sweet, and real. 

It's the kind of movie that makes one feel privileged to watch, because everything comes together so well.    


     I was so tired and out of it, that I barely remember the trip upstairs to my bed. 

As I was barely conscious, I was not able to perform the basic functions of
          washing my face and brushing my teeth. 

Fortunately, I had taken my contact lenses out earlier in the evening. 

The thing is, I can't really sleep well when I have not completed my "bedtime routine",

so I tossed and turned for a good part of the night, until I finally forced myself out of bed,

grabbed my glasses off the nightstand, and shuffled over to the bathroom.

     "AAAaaaah!"  I shouted (to myself), as I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

While the hair on the LEFT side of my head lay flat and straight, the hair on my RIGHT
     was sticking straight out, as if only THAT half of me had been caught up in a wind storm. 

Oddly enough, my right eye felt strange, too,
     as if long strands of hair were wrapped around my eyeball.

I can only describe it as "Hairy Eyeball Syndrome", yet, there was nothing there - 



And, to make matters worse, apparently during the wind storm,
     I had been chewing on the inside of my left cheek (in my mouth), causing it to grow twice the size of what it should be, invading the space in between my upper and lower teeth.


"Well," I told myself, "At least I am just going back to bed.  Maybe this is all just a dream, anyways."

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and stumbled back into bed.    

When I woke up this morning, like de ja vu, I shuffled back into the bathroom,
     and (like de ja vu)..................


The hair on the RIGHT side of my head was STILL sticking straight out,
     and the inside of my LEFT cheek was STILL swollen, BUT..................good news -
The "Hairy Eyeball Syndrome" in my RIGHT eye seemed to have dissipated.  

So while, unfortunately, it was not all just a dream, at least I felt more balanced, now that the "Hairy Eyeball Syndrome" had gone away,

             which means I shouldn't walk with a limp for the rest of the day.     


1 comment:

  1. I hate it when I KNOW there is an eyelash in my eye, so I go to the mirror, and . . . nothing. It makes me think how crummy the aging process is, with all its misappropriated sensations.