I find "driving behavior" fascinating.
I think of those wildlife channels, where the camera captures wild animals in their natural habitat.
The narrator might say something like (imagine the voice of James Earl Jones),
" In an effort to show dominance in the pack, he displays intimidating behavior, keeping the others in their place..............................behind him."
Many a morning, after dropping the kids off at school,
I drive down a large, heavily traveled strip of road.
When I reach the top of the hill, the road opens up from two lanes into three.
The catch, however, is that third lane eventually turns into a "right turn only" lane.
Because my intention is to take that right turn,
I immediately take advantage of the extra lane.
The moment that happens is like a euphoria.
A LANE WITH NO CARS IN FRONT OF ME IN WHICH I CAN ACTUALLY PRESS ON THE GAS PEDAL AND GAIN SPEED!
It's like using your fastpass to move to the front of the line at Disney World.
The MINUTE that I merge into that right lane, HOWEVER,
one or two others (sometimes three or four) will predictably "SLIDE" over in front of me,
which is the polite way of saying "CUTTING ME OFF".
And, predictably, I KNOW that they are not going to make that right turn.
I KNOW they are going to ride up that lane as far as they can,
then cut back over into the left lane.
Many times, they will come to a complete stop.
They are, however, considerate enough to put their left turn signals on,
as they BLOCK THE ENTIRE RIGHT TURN LANE.
They do this because that's what they think I'M doing.
They think I am in that lane for the same reason,
and they must not let anyone else in the pack move ahead of them.
That's when I put my right turn signal on,
and if my turn signal could talk, it would say,
I used to show my displeasure by honking or (even more intimidating) . . . . .
All the while,
I'm fantasizing about some police officer showing up to give them a
The reality is that the people ignore me and the police officer never shows up.
Now, I just sit back and smirk at the predictable behavior every morning,
and when those cars merge back over to the left lane
to join the rest of the bumper-to-bumper traffic,
I make my right turn, and breeze my way through the rest of my commute home,
I think of those wildlife channels, where the camera captures wild animals in their natural habitat.
The narrator might say something like (imagine the voice of James Earl Jones),
" In an effort to show dominance in the pack, he displays intimidating behavior, keeping the others in their place..............................behind him."
Many a morning, after dropping the kids off at school,
I drive down a large, heavily traveled strip of road.
When I reach the top of the hill, the road opens up from two lanes into three.
The catch, however, is that third lane eventually turns into a "right turn only" lane.
Because my intention is to take that right turn,
I immediately take advantage of the extra lane.
The moment that happens is like a euphoria.
A LANE WITH NO CARS IN FRONT OF ME IN WHICH I CAN ACTUALLY PRESS ON THE GAS PEDAL AND GAIN SPEED!
It's like using your fastpass to move to the front of the line at Disney World.
The MINUTE that I merge into that right lane, HOWEVER,
one or two others (sometimes three or four) will predictably "SLIDE" over in front of me,
which is the polite way of saying "CUTTING ME OFF".
And, predictably, I KNOW that they are not going to make that right turn.
I KNOW they are going to ride up that lane as far as they can,
then cut back over into the left lane.
Many times, they will come to a complete stop.
They are, however, considerate enough to put their left turn signals on,
as they BLOCK THE ENTIRE RIGHT TURN LANE.
They do this because that's what they think I'M doing.
They think I am in that lane for the same reason,
and they must not let anyone else in the pack move ahead of them.
That's when I put my right turn signal on,
and if my turn signal could talk, it would say,
"YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG, DUMB SHIT!"
I used to show my displeasure by honking or (even more intimidating) . . . . .
STARING THEM DOWN.
I can look pretty scary that time of the morning.
All the while,
I'm fantasizing about some police officer showing up to give them a
BIG FAT TICKET.
The reality is that the people ignore me and the police officer never shows up.
Now, I just sit back and smirk at the predictable behavior every morning,
and when those cars merge back over to the left lane
to join the rest of the bumper-to-bumper traffic,
I make my right turn, and breeze my way through the rest of my commute home,
where I am the dominant leader of the pack.
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